irrelevant (and sometimes questionable) ramblings

Copyright Kris Starr 2007

Readers under the age of 18 are requested to leave this page immediately

Chapter Three

Tessa stared unseeing at the papers littering her desk. Every time she tried to focus on her work, her traitorous brain would remind her of Brett.

How delicious he smelled.

How his breath felt on her skin.

How she knew, without a doubt, that he wanted her.

And worst of all—she leaned back in her chair, pressing the heels of her hands into her temples, irritated at herself for allowing it to happen and actually admitting it—how much she wanted him, too.

She glanced at her desk clock. It was after six already, and she felt like she’d accomplished nothing. Her head felt fuzzy from a lack of sleep, and her body tingled, as though Brett had somehow flipped a switch in her, and she had no idea how to turn it off again.

After escaping the office—and Brett—last night, Tessa had spent a restless evening at home, unable to eat or sleep, only capable of replaying the night’s events in a neverending loop. She’d made up a dozen different endings where Brett’s phone hadn’t rung. Each one in full Technicolor, complete with Surround Sound.

Finally, shortly after three o’clock in the morning, when she realized that she’d aroused herself so much that she could no longer stand it, she’d finally pulled her vibrator out of the bedside table drawer and made herself come. Twice.

It hadn’t really helped.

Well, it had taken the edge off enough for her to fall into a fitful sleep full of graphically erotic dreams, but today she’d still felt out-of-sorts. Too sensitive in her own skin.

Terrified of the prospect of running into Brett, she’d hidden in her office all day. Thankfully, she had seen neither hide nor hair of him.

Resigning herself to the fact that she was going to get nothing else accomplished, she stood and began to gather up the paper on her desk, wincing when one particularly errant sheaf sliced into her index finger.

“Ouch! Fucking paper cut.” She stuck the digit in her mouth, sucking away the stinging sensation. “Thirteen dollars,” she mumbled darkly.

“You know, one of these days you’re going to have to explain that money thing to me.”

Tessa’s gaze snapped upward. Brett stood in her doorway, lounging against the frame.

Instantly, her body hummed with tension.

He looked good, she thought distractedly, unable to focus on anything else. His hair was artfully messy, spiky and wild on top, and his jaw was slightly shaded with the day’s stubble.

Edible.

Tessa cleared her throat. “It’s nothing, really. Just…trying to break myself of a bad swearing habit.”

A corner of Brett’s mouth quirked upward. “Really? How is that bad? I think a woman who doesn’t hold back verbally is very sexy.”

His deliberate emphasis of the word ‘sexy’ made her palms tingle. With exaggerated casualness, Tessa shrugged. “It wasn’t my idea.”

Brett’s expression was unreadable. “Richard’s, then. Interesting.”

Tessa frowned slightly. “What does that mean?”

He made a non-committal noise. “It doesn’t mean anything, Tess. I would never had made a suggestion like that to you, but I’m not Richard.”

Unable to stop herself, Tessa let her gaze travel slowly over Brett, over his well-cut dark suit down to his shoes, and back up again. She suddenly ached with want.

“No,” she murmured, unable to censor herself. “You’re not.” Her cheeks warmed, and she silently berated herself for not keeping her mouth shut.

Brett’s eyes darkened noticeably. Pushing himself away from the door, he sauntered toward her, stopping on the other side of her desk.

“I hope that’s a good thing, Tess.” His voice was shaded, tight.

She nodded shortly, words escaping from her mouth of their own accord. “It’s a very good thing.”

Tessa watched his throat work as he swallowed with more than a little difficulty. Leaning forward, he placed his hands on her desktop, propping himself on his arms.

He was so close to her, his breath warm on her face, that all she’d have to do would be to lean in just slightly and she could take him. Taste him. See just what kissing Brett Taylor would be like. See if it would be as explosive as it had been in all of her fantasies.

Firecrackers popped low in her belly just at the thought.

She stepped around the desk, her movements slow and deliberate, all other thoughts driven out of her head by sheer need.

“There’s something I need to know, Brett.”

* * * * *

Brett released the breath he’d been holding. He’d managed to stay away from Tess all day. But tonight, as he’d been leaving the office, he’d seen her light on, her door ajar. And even though he’d told his feet to go toward the elevator bank, he’d found himself in her doorway, watching her.

He’d stood there for a moment before making his presence known, and in that time, he’d traced the outline of her delectable shape with his eyes—from the delicate shells of her earlobes to the long curve of her neck, over the swells of her breasts and down her slim waist, to the contour of her hips, and along the incredible length of those legs.

His cock was instantly rock-hard.

Her beautiful eyes were shadowed, and he was willing to bet she’d had just as hard a time sleeping as he did. The bitingly-cold shower he’d forced himself to take hadn’t helped one bit, either.

Then she’d spoken to him, her eyes hungry and her lips inviting, and he’d been drawn to her, certain that perhaps she’d make the first move and open her mouth, offering herself to him.

And now, as she approached him, his pulse jumped, her rich, subtle perfume teasing his nostrils. He licked suddenly desert-dry lips and had to force the words out of his mouth.

“And what did you want to know, babe?”

Tessa exhaled softly, her breath warm and sweet. He could see her tremble. “Are you as good of a kisser as I’m willing to bet that you are?”

* * * * *

Her pulse pounding deafeningly in her ears, Tessa placed her palm on Brett’s chest, the cotton of his shirt soft beneath her fingers. She swallowed nervously, watching his face for his reaction.

Brett’s hand came up and captured hers, turning it palm-up. Bending his head slightly, his gaze bold, he murmured, “You’d better believe I am, sweetheart,” and dropped a kiss gently in the center of her palm.

Tessa’s breath hitched in her throat, and she scrambled for a response. Suddenly feeling wicked, she slowly grinned.

“Oh, I don’t know, Brett. I think you have to prove it to me.”

Brett’s mouth lingered on her hand, before moving to her wrist, where he gave the skin there a short lick.

“A doubter, huh?” he asked, low laughter behind his words. “When I’m done with you, you’ll be a believer.”

Releasing her hand, he brought his up to her face, tenderly cupping her cheek. He stroked her skin lightly with the pad of his thumb, and Tessa shuddered at the appreciation in his touch, the gentleness. She closed her eyes, surrendering to the feel of Brett, to everything that was him, and only him.

His other hand joined the first so that he held her face in both, and his fingertips caressed her ears and burrowed into her hair. Then one hand was gone, and she felt pressure at the back of her head.

“I want that hair of yours down, Tess. I’ve never seen it loose. I want to bury my hands in it, tangle my fingers in it,” he said, his voice a breathy growl.

Tessa’s heart jumped. “Brett,” she whispered.

Locating the pins holding her twist in place, Brett slowly removed them, dropping them onto her desk with tiny pings. Then his hands were there, enmeshed, twisting the strands, cupping the back of her head.

Again, Tessa was overwhelmed by her willingness to do whatever Brett wanted. His aggressiveness made her breath come quicker, made her panties wet, made her want to drop to her knees and taste his cock.

And he still hadn’t kissed her.

His lips hovered over her skin. She could feel his breath, hot and moist, and she strained upward, wanting contact, wanting to sample him, wanting his taste on her tongue.

A soft whimper escaped her. “Brett…please.”

“Please what, Tess?” Brett whispered. “Do you want me to kiss you? Take your mouth with my own? Tease your tongue with mine?”

She could feel the heat diffuse off him. Her lips tingled where his hovered.

“Yes, Brett. Kiss me. Now.” The words escaped her on nothing more than a breath. She twisted her fingers in the fabric of his shirt.

“I want to make you come with my mouth, Tess. I want my kiss to make your body shudder with pleasure. I want you to be so ready for me that the mere touch of my lips makes you explode.”

Tessa whimpered. Her entire body hummed with arousal, every inch of skin tingling. Low in her belly, pleasure curled, warmth permeating between her legs, promising release, promising satisfaction.

God, she wanted the man so badly she could barely think straight. She opened her eyes and met his intense gaze, her own vision slightly blurred and distorted by sheer need.

“I want to come, Brett. Make me come.”

“Oh, baby,” he groaned, “are you wet for me? I want to touch you, Tess. Slide my hand under that skirt, stroke you with my fingers, slip inside you.” His lips brushed lightly over her cheek, landed on the tip of her nose, then moved to the other cheek. Tessa whimpered, each point of contact burning, as though Brett was branding her with his mouth.

“I want to strip those clothes off you and learn every inch of your body. Taste every part of you. Lick you all over. Do you want that? Hm?”

Wound with tension as tightly as a clock spring, Tessa could do no more than nod her head. Brett was teasing her to a fever pitch, bringing her higher than she’d ever been. She felt infinitely fragile, ready to shatter at the slightest touch.

And they were both still fully clothed.

Unbelievable.

“Now, Brett. Now.” Tessa breathed.

She felt, rather than heard his short, sharp intake of breath. Hands still firmly entrenched in her hair, he leaned in toward her, and Tessa’s eyes shut.

Brett’s mouth landed softly, gently on hers, and her stomach instantly spiraled, her pulse exploding. Time stopped ticking for what felt like a millennium.

Dropping kiss after gentle kiss on her mouth, Brett was the picture of deliberate control. He fed at her lips, seemingly content to do simply that, yet Tessa could sense the tightly-controlled need coiling inside of him. The same need expanded within her, and suddenly she wanted to taste his tongue, to savor the flavor of his mouth.

Parting her lips slightly, Tessa flicked her tongue lightly over the seam of his mouth, and Brett groaned. Under her ministrations his lips parted, and the tip of his tongue met hers. Delicately. Playfully.

With a growl, Brett’s hands tightened in her hair, and he tilted her head back. Plunging his tongue between her lips, he began to thrust and withdraw, fucking her mouth.

He pushed her back slightly, and Tessa lowered her rear onto her desktop. She parted her legs as wide as her narrow skirt would allow, and smoothly, Brett stepped between them. The push of his thighs between hers shoved her skirt higher, until it lay bunched at her hips.

Leaning forward, the weight of Brett’s hips settled firmly against hers, and the hard ridge of his cock landed directly on her pussy.

Tessa moaned, the exquisite feel of him causing the room to spin deliciously. She shifted her hips, rocking slightly against him, and shuddered as flames crackled in her core.

Surrounded by the heat of him, the scent, his heavy presence perfectly in her center, Tessa gasped for air. Brett filled her senses, enveloped her, became the center of her universe. Her mind fixated on him alone, and she suddenly wanted nothing more than to be naked with him, skin-to-skin, bare and open and willing.

“Oh, Tess,” Brett murmured, his tongue stroking her lips, her mouth. “Jesus, you’re amazing. I want to be deep inside of you…” He punctuated his sentence with a quick press of his hips, and Tessa squeaked slightly.

Brett rocked his pelvis, pushing against her, repeating the motion slowly, then quickly. Fire ignited in Tessa’s core, and the intense pressure built, spreading outward from her center, licking along her limbs. Her muscles tensed in anticipation.

Apparently feeling her body tighten, Brett slowed his actions, matching the thrust of his tongue to that of his hips, an agonizingly exquisite friction that made the room reel. Without warning, the orgasm rocketed toward her, and Tessa lifted her hips, scrambling to press her clit as firmly as possible against Brett’s cock. Shudder after shudder ripped through her as she came, harder than ever before, and she cried out in sheer ecstasy before collapsing against him.

Eyes firmly shut, Tessa simply breathed, her senses surrounded by Brett – by the accelerated thump of his heartbeat, the rasping hiss of his breath, the slight quiver of his muscles. Her scalp tingled where he dropped a kiss on the top of her head, and she instantly felt bereft when he shifted slightly away from her.

Each indrawn breath made her lungs ache, the cool fluorescent light stinging her eyes. Tessa felt raw, exposed, undone, and the sensations made her stomach clench. After a lifetime of living on the edge, she felt incapable of dealing with fallout like this. Her world just didn’t work this way.

Inexplicably nervous, Tessa scrambled for something—anything—to talk about. She glanced down at her desk and spied one of the spreadsheets she’d been studying. For a wild moment, she wanted to ignore the sheets of paper, forget they existed. But that would only make matters worse.

“Brett—” her voice wavered and she paused, fighting for control “—I wanted to ask you about something. Actually, it’s the reason I was in your office last night. I was looking for you.”

There was a long moment as Brett watched her, his gaze thoughtful. Tessa knew, without a doubt, that he was aware of what she was doing—moving to neutral territory, pretending that what had just happened hadn’t.

Safer all around.

Right.

Nothing was safer when it came to Brett, but she had to at least make the effort. Feeling self-conscious, she tugged her skirt back into place, trying to force her trembling hands to co-operate.

He nodded slowly. “I figured there was more to you being there than just wishful thinking on my part.” He straightened, his posture warier, more businesslike.

For a moment, Tessa felt empty with the heat of him gone.

“I was looking at some of Lakewood+Cross’s financial information, and I think there’s some kind of accounting discrepancy—” Her shaky fingers fumbled with the hairpins as she attempted to repin her updo.

Brett’s gaze became distant, the set of his jaw harder. Tessa’s stomach knotted with anxiety.

“What kind of discrepancy, Tess?”

The velvet intimacy that had permeated her office was gone. The lights seemed suddenly harsher, the air cooler.

“I’m not entirely sure, but some of the expense account amounts don’t add up, Brett. It almost looks like—Well, it looks like money’s missing.” She took a deep breath. “And the account code attached to those transactions is yours.”

* * * * *

Brett had known Tessa was smart. More than smart, actually. She was a dangerous package of brains and stunning beauty. No wonder he was starting to feel like a passenger on the Titanic.

He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d moved away from her. Probably because he shouldn’t have been touching her in the first place, he thought, biting back a snort of laughter. But man, he itched to make her come again. This time, he wanted to watch her face when she came apart…with him deep inside her.

Belatedly, he realized he was staring at her lips again. And that she was waiting for an answer from him.

“Maybe Richard didn’t tell you, Tess, but when he and I started Lakewood+Cross, we agreed that once the company started to make a decent profit that we’d set up a small monthly stipend for each of us—a special personal accounting code that we could utilize for our own private use. Limited, of course. But neither of us needed to account for our spending, and nobody except for the Accounts Payable department had to know about the details. We agreed to be self-policing about it.” He shrugged. “It’s worked just fine so far.”

One of Tessa’s slender eyebrows arched upward. “It’s ‘worked fine’? Did you know, Brett, that in the last six months or so the amount of money you’ve withdrawn is almost triple in comparison to Richard’s total?”

Brett blinked then frowned. “Triple? No, I haven’t. That’s not possible.”

A flash of guilt flickered over her delicate features. “I hope you understand, but once I noticed the discrepancy, I went through and calculated the totals for each of you. Your total is three times more than Richard’s.”

Surprised and unable to remain still, Brett turned away from her and paced to the narrow window, his mind reeling.

Three times? What the fuck was going on here? And why hadn’t he noticed?

A thought struck him.

“When did you say the totals began to go out of whack?” he asked, turning to glance at Tess.

“About six months ago.”

Brett did a quick calculation, then shook his head, angrily. “That bastard.”

“What?”

“Richard. I let him use my code about six months ago. He’d just started the whole political thing, and he’d already used up his stipend for the month. He needed cash to finance a small shin-dig at his condo with a bunch of politicos. Remember? The one where the mayor came, and some of the city councilors? I heard about it for weeks afterward, because Richard thought it was such a coup he’d pulled off.”

She nodded. “Yes, I remember that party.”

Brett paced back to her desk. “I had used only about half of my stipend for the month, so I agreed to let him use the rest. It was my mistake to let the bastard have my code, though.”

“What do you mean?”

He met her gaze, furious with himself. “Because the asshole has apparently still been using my code and taking extra money.”

Tess’s expression was one of confusion. “How can you say that, Brett? Richard would never do something like that—”

He interrupted her, reluctant to have this conversation. “Tess, you need to know. Richard… well, you may not think so, but despite the way he portrays himself, Richard isn’t exactly the most respectable of guys out there.”

An expression of pain flickered momentarily over Tessa’s exquisite features, before they hardened slightly. “And you are?” She shot back at him.

For an ageless moment, Brett stared at her. Contrition immediately washed over her face, but that didn’t make her words sting any less.

A flash of anger charged through him, before dissipating almost as quickly. Apparently Richard had thoroughly indoctrinated her on who was the better Taylor brother.

“I never claimed to be something I’m not, Tess. Maybe you hadn’t figured that out yet,” he said, softly. “I haven’t always led the most respectable of lifestyles—I’ll be the first one to admit that. But everyone I’ve ever dealt with—friend, client or lover alike—has known what they’re getting with me. I’m above-board all the way. I don’t schmooze, and I don’t smooth-talk anyone into anything.” He glanced at her mouth, lingering there for a moment, letting her know exactly what he was thinking. “Especially you, sweetheart.”

“But—” Tessa looked confused. “I’m sure you don’t understand—”

Disappointment warring with frustration, Brett turned to leave. “I understand just fine. Goodnight, Tess.”

He headed out the door, surprised by the sudden ache in his chest. Why should he care what Tessa McCormack, his brother’s girlfriend, thought of him? It was obvious that while she might be physically attracted to him, she still thought he wasn’t good enough for anything more than a quick fuck.

And that burned his balls. He was as good as everyone thought Richard was, if not better.

Worst of all, he knew the truth about Richard. Damned if nobody else wanted to hear it, though.

* * * * *

Tessa pulled the collar of her jacket tighter as a sudden gust of wind yanked the breath from her lungs. Cursing the fact that she’d had to park almost a block away from the Wilson Stevens Clinic she quickened her pace. Being exhausted didn’t help.

After two nights in a row of Brett’s torment, Tessa had tossed and turned restlessly in her bed, need alternating with guilt.

Frowning, Tessa pushed the nagging thoughts away. She’d berated herself enough at the office. She just needed to remind herself—perhaps by tattooing it on her forehead, she thought wryly—that Brett wasn’t right for her. That he was too much of a temptation to slip back into her old ways.

That she was ready for the house, the fence, and all the crap that went along with having a family. Her pulse jumped a little at the thought.

Yes, she’d realized when Richard had first brought up the idea, she really did want to have a baby—but it was much more fun trying to make one the old-fashioned way. However, with Richard’s more and more frequent trips and busy travel schedule, this was turning into the only viable solution. They hadn’t been naked together in…hell, Tessa couldn’t remember the last time they’d had sex.

In a sudden moment of insight, Tessa realized that her imposed celibacy was to blame for last night’s debacle. Of course she was easily susceptible to Brett’s smooth-talking, seductive ways—not having gotten any for months now would have overridden any common sense left in her brain. And a vibrating bit of silicone wasn’t much of a substitute.

She gave a small sigh tinged with relief. All she had to do was have sex with Richard as soon as possible, then she’d be immune to Brett and his wicked ways. Of course, the when part of that equation was still a big question mark, but all it meant was that she’d have to jump Richard the moment he was within fondling distance.

Idly, she wondered what would happen to their sex life if Richard was successful in his plan to run for senator, and her stomach roiled in protest at the thought.

A Senator’s wife. Always on display, always under scrutiny. Forever in the public eye. Expected to be perfect in every way. Dissected by everyone from Barbara Walters to Jane Reporter from the local network affiliate. A sour taste flooded her mouth, and she fumbled in her handbag for a mint.

But this was what she wanted, wasn’t it?

Wasn’t it?

Of course, Tessa thought, ignoring the vaguely hollow feeling behind the words.

But what if they find out? The inner voice taunted her. Your secret will be out, and then what?

They won’t, Tessa replied silently but firmly. It’s all been buried deep enough. I hope.

She had to look forward. It was the only way to keep the worry from overwhelming her. Besides, she had so many things to look forward to.

The life she was making for herself now—this was the kind of life she’d dreamed about. Even now, she had to pinch herself occasionally, overwhelmed by just how far she’d come. And the most telling example had been only days ago. She’d managed to walk unrecognized—holding her breath all the while—past The Pussycat Club. A few of the girls—Cassie, Sam and Kit—were out front as usual, flirting with the bouncers and sharing cigarettes between dances, and they hadn’t taken a second look at her. Tessa had reveled in that feeling of triumph.

Of course, that hadn’t stopped the crazy pang of nostalgia, of suddenly wanting to be on stage again. Heady with the knowledge that every man in the room wanted her on her back, with her legs wrapped around his waist. Wanting to be dirty – to writhe and scream and moan with pleasure – and leave fingernail and bite marks.

A sudden flush bloomed on her cheeks. That urge had definitely returned with a vengeance in both Brett’s office and hers. As much as she’d wanted his scent imprinted on her, marking Brett as her own with teeth and nails held an awful lot of appeal.

Wrong. Wrong brother. Smarten up, McCormack.

Tessa pursed her lips slightly. Had she ever scratched her nails down Richard’s back? Honestly, she couldn’t remember. Well, it wasn’t as though their sex life was that explosive, anyway. Maybe it had been briefly in the beginning, but…now it seemed that Richard was either away from home, or more preoccupied with politics or business matters, than with wanting to see her naked.

She frowned. He hadn’t even replied regarding her lingerie pics.

Rounding the last corner before the clinic, Tessa stopped in her tracks. A couple was exiting the clinic ahead, heading toward the sidewalk. The young woman was unfamiliar, but her companion was instantly recognizable.

Brett.

Nearly tripping over her own feet, Tessa scrambled back around the apartment building. Unable to quash her curiosity, she peered around the structure, the rough brickwork pressing into her cheek.

The pair stood next to an older-model Toyota, talking. The woman faced in Tessa’s direction, allowing her a good look. She seemed young, and was ethereally lovely—coppery red hair tumbled around her shoulders in loose curls, framing a sweet, open face—and the smile she directed at Brett was one of pure adoration.

Wanting frantically to avert her gaze, but unable to break away from the train wreck playing out before her, Tessa watched, her pulse banging in her ears.

After another moment or two, the woman flung her arms around Brett’s neck and kissed him on the cheek. The pair held each other for a long moment before parting. Tessa sucked in a sharp breath as Brett tenderly cupped the woman’s face in his hands, then leaned in to drop a kiss on her forehead.

A few seconds later, the woman got into her car and drove away. Brett remained on the sidewalk, his attention focused on the automobile.

Suddenly, he turned in Tessa’s direction, and a bubble of sheer panic formed in her chest. She had no place to hide, and she certainly didn’t want him to bump into her now.

Brett appeared to change his mind and sharply turned around, heading down the street in the opposite direction.

Tessa watched his retreating form until he’d vanished from sight before stepping out from around the building. For a long minute, she simply stood there, an angry heat roiling through her.

“That bastard,” she muttered, clenching her jaw shut. “After what happened, and now…this?”

Motivated by an inexplicable fury, Tessa stormed toward the clinic, growling under her breath. “I can’t believe that…that goddamned, fucking bastard. That player! How dare he?” She mentally added another dollar to the swearing jar, then threw in a five for good measure. She had a feeling she was about to need it.

Grasping the metal door handle, Tessa froze. Why in the hell was this bothering her? It wasn’t any of her business what Brett did or didn’t do with his personal life.

And from this point on, she was going to avoid him at all costs. Brett Taylor was exactly what she’d pegged him to be. No more, no less.

Tessa bit back a sudden, inexplicable twinge of disappointment.

Richard.

She needed to get in touch with Richard. Immediately. Reconfirm the bond between them, and make some real, concrete plans for the future. Hell, maybe she could even start traveling with him on all his business trips. That would be okay, wouldn’t it?

Try as she might, Tessa struggled to muster even a dollop of enthusiasm.

Instead, she felt hollow; broken.

Then, unbidden, a sharp bark of laughter escaped her. It looked like D’arcy had been right all along. It looked like Brett was spankin’ the monkey to make a baby. Who knew?

Suddenly nauseous, she turned, heading back to her car. She couldn’t go in the clinic now; she’d reschedule. In the meantime, she was going to have to head uptown to pick up that Vuitton bag for D’arcy. She just hoped that Darce wasn’t going to gloat too loudly.