irrelevant (and sometimes questionable) ramblings

Copyright Kris Starr 2007

Readers under the age of 18 are requested to leave this page immediately.

Chapter One

Pumping.

Thrusting.

Seven inches of solid, realistically veined, vibrating silicone slide in and out of her pussy, slick with her juices. She squirms atop the duvet, her free hand sliding up to grasp roughly at her breasts through the silky black lace of her bra.

Arching her hips up, meeting each plunge of the dildo as though it were him captured between her thighs, she thrashes slightly. Her head whips from side to side, hair a filmy tangle that catches on her lips and nose. She whimpers, the click of the camera a hazy echo in the distance. So lost in her pleasure she can almost hear his voice, a gruff, broken mutter of encouragement, of supplication.

She wants him to watch her; wants him to feed the need that threatens to escape.

Wants to see herself reflected in those espresso-coloured eyes.

Eyes so different from Richard’s…

“Tess?”

Tessa McCormack’s eyes flew open, her heart thudding drunkenly. Mortified at getting caught daydreaming at work, she forced her attention on the figure in the doorway, and a knot instantly formed in her stomach. Oh, crap. She fumbled with her computer mouse, quickly minimizing her e-mail program.

“Are you okay? You’re looking a little overheated.” Brett Taylor’s forehead furrowed slightly, his expression one of concern.

Tessa nodded, swallowing furiously to somehow force saliva down a desert-dry throat.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Tessa cringed, her voice sounding well-used and unsteady, even to her own ears.

Brett favored her with a long assessing look. Clearing his throat, he rapped his knuckles idly against the doorframe. “Okay. Uh, the meeting’s starting now. Just thought I’d remind you.”

She nodded again, discomfited by her suddenly non-existent conversational skills.

“Yes, thanks, Brett. Give me just a sec. I’ll be right there.”

He shrugged impossibly broad shoulders and flashed her the trademark Brett Taylor crooked grin.

“I’ll wait for you, Tess. It’s not often we get the chance to talk.”

Tessa’s stomach did a barrel roll that would put a fighter jet to shame. Close contact with Brett wasn’t high on her priority list.

But at the same time, it definitely was hovering around the number one spot.

She forced what she hoped was a friendly smile onto her lips.

“Sure. Just let me send off this email message, and I’ll be right there.”

Opening the window again with another mouse click, Tessa glanced at the photograph currently on-screen, and felt a rush of heat bloom both on her cheeks and between her legs. She sent a quick prayer upwards, thanking the powers-that-be that her computer monitor didn’t face the door.

Because the one thing the Managing Director of Lakewood+Cross, Inc.—her boss—definitely did not need to see was nearly-naked photos of her.

Painfully aware of Brett’s presence in her tiny office, Tessa quickly skimmed the short message and then clicked the Send button.

“That a letter to Richard?”

Tessa’s eyes snapped upward, and she wondered just how good Brett was at reading expressions.

“Actually, yes.” Closing the rest of her programs, Tessa rose from her desk chair. Turning, she caught sight of herself in the small wall mirror, and her eyes widened at the sight of her rock-hard nipples showing easily through both her bra and silk blouse. Even though the office was on the warm side temperature-wise, she snatched her blazer from the back of her desk chair and quickly slipped the garment on.

Glancing at Brett, sensing the tension radiating off him, she knew without a doubt he’d seen the exact same thing. She busied herself with gathering file folders from her desktop.

“So what’s ol’ Dick have to say for himself?” The timbre of Brett’s voice had thickened, darkened.

“Not too much, really.” Tessa focused every smidgeon of will on keeping the conversation neutral. “He’s in Prague right now, though he’s due home again in about two weeks. But I guess you knew that.”

Crossing to the doorway, Tessa hesitated. It was irrational, but somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to pass by so close to Brett. She waited, but he didn’t move, obviously expecting her to leave the office first.

Taking a discreet gulp of air, Tessa sidled into the opening, her momentum somehow slowing as she invaded Brett’s personal space. Heat emanated from him, combined with the heady scent of a strong, masculine aftershave and a distinct essence that had to be purely him.

Glancing upward into his face, Tessa’s world tilted slightly on its axis. An expression of something played about Brett’s features—something that Tessa immediately both wanted to forget and capture. She wobbled slightly in her Manolos—feeling a moment of incredulous shock at the sensation—stumble in heels? Her?—and a warm palm landed on her hip.

Fire radiated through wool, silk and lace, and Tessa’s vision blurred briefly. She stared up at Brett, confusion warring with pure, grade-A lust. God knew he wasn’t the first man who’d touched her—not by a long shot—but no one else had ever ignited her skin like this. No one.

“Hey, now,” Brett’s voice was low, velvet-dark. “Careful, there, Tess.”

Her name rolled off his tongue like honey—slow, sweet and sticky—and immediately her mouth watered. An image of her drizzling the syrupy liquid onto Brett’s bare chest flashed across her mind.

No. Wait.

The honey at home was for Richard’s tea, dammit. Not for any other reason, especially one having to do with Brett. She took a shallow breath, trying to avoid inhaling more of his satisfying scent, but to no avail.

She needed willpower. Where was her restraint? She’d come too fucking far to backslide like this now.

Groaning silently, she mentally added another dollar to her cursing jar. Removing the f-word from her vocabulary was definitely a losing battle. If she didn’t change her ways soon, the local women’s shelter was going to end up with a pretty generous gift soon.

Forcing her attention to the unbelievably lickable specimen in front of her, Tessa pasted a smile on her face.

“Oh, I’m fine, thanks. Guess I should have eaten some breakfast today, though.”

One of Brett’s eyebrows cocked skyward. “That’s unfortunate. My own breakfast wasn’t very…satisfying. Regardless, we can’t have you passing out in the office, now can we? Then you’d need—” he paused, a smooth grin tilting his lips “—mouth-to-mouth.”

The image of Brett’s generous lips on hers was so real that Tessa’s eyelids threatened to flutter. Oh, he’d be a hell of a kisser, all right. His mouth looked like it was made for that one activity alone.

And, well, another one that she couldn’t allow herself to think too hard about. Er…and another one, and—

Tessa’s mouth dropped open for the quickest of seconds before she snapped it shut. Her brain had to be stopped at all costs. And where the hell was this seductive act coming from? In all the time she’d known Brett, he’d never behaved this way before. Not that she really minded, of course, but that was an impulse best locked inside a big box.

Jesus. It wasn’t so long ago that she could fire back a biting retort with the best of them. What had happened? She searched her brain, frantically seeking some kind of appropriate response.

But what in the hell was an ‘appropriate response’ when you couldn’t stop having dirty thoughts about your lover’s brother?

“Oh, hey. There you are, Brett. Can I talk to you?” Jay Erichs, the company’s resident IT guru stood in the hallway, looking uncomfortable, as usual. With his spiky mess of dark hair and delicate features, he was a ringer for the actor, Johnny Depp, and had long ago earned himself the nickname JD.

Brett turned his attention to the young man and Tessa breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

“Sure, JD. What’s up?” Brett stepped into the hallway, and despite herself, Tessa couldn’t help but watch. He moved with an almost feline grace, comfortable in his own skin and confident in his body, and wholly masculine.

“Uh, I just wanted to let you know we’re still having that email problem. You know, where messages aren’t being sent to the proper recipients?” JD glanced at Tessa. “For some weird reason, you and Tessa are affected the most.”

Brett nodded. “I noticed the problem earlier today. I got responses from people who were pretty confused about the messages that I’d sent. But that was because they weren’t supposed to get them.” He glanced at Tessa and grinned, his cocky persona back in place. “Good thing I wasn’t sending anything inappropriate, huh, JD?”

Tessa’s breath caught in her throat and she mentally crossed her fingers, hoping like hell Richard’s message had gone where it was supposed to—to Richard. She’d thought the email problem had been fixed. Apparently it hadn’t. Fuck.

“That’s eleven dollars today, and it’s not even noon yet,” she muttered.

Brett shot her a questioning glance. “Tess?”

Tessa shook her head. “Nothing. Shouldn’t we be getting to the boardroom?”

Brett nodded. “Yeah. Can we talk after the meeting, JD?”

“No problem,” JD replied. He shot Tessa a quick glance and coughed softly. “And, uh, Brett? Speaking of inappropriate computer stuff, you picked up a small virus from a website you visited last week…”

Seeing an opportunity for escape, Tessa turned and made her way down the hall toward the office boardroom. She really, really didn’t need to keep thinking about—

“Brett Taylor!”

Tessa let out a short squeak of surprise as D’arcy Kauffman popped out from behind the portable wall that formed part of her cubicle.

“Darce, you scared the shit out of me,” Tessa said, willing her heart rate to return to normal. “What about Brett? And keep your voice down—he’s just back down the hall talking to JD.”

The petite and spunky brunette, Tessa’s co-worker and confidante, grinned mischievously.

“That was the point, Tessa,” D’arcy said, nearly skipping to catch up to Tessa’s long-legged stride. She shrugged. “What’s he gonna do, fire me? He’d be lost without me. So I’m not worried if he hears me talking about him. But that’s irrelevant.” She held out a folded section of newspaper in front of her. “I finally figured it out. You know, the Great Brett Mystery.”

Reaching for the paper, Tessa gave a chuckle of dry laughter, at the same time unable to suppress the shot of heat that bubbled up from her core, detouring slowly around her breasts and pussy.

Giving her head a shake, Tessa took the newspaper and skimmed the visible section.

“Uh, I’m confused. What about Brett, Darce?”

D’arcy pointed a long finger at the article in the center of the page. “He’s giving away his little swimmers.”

Tessa blinked, taken aback. “What?”

“The disappearances, T. Remember how I told you about Brett’s mysterious absences? How the man who tells me what he’s doing almost every minute of every day has big gaps of time where he’s completely incommunicado? It’s the only answer. He’s spankin’ the monkey to help women make babies. This article about single women using sperm donors to have children gave me the answer as soon as I read it.”

Tessa gave a snort of laughter. “You have got to be kidding me, Darce.”

“Would I kid you about something as important as this?”

“No, I guess not.”

“But you know what’s even wilder?”

Tessa grinned. “I’m willing to bet you’re going to tell me.”

D’arcy’s voice lowered conspiratorially. “They talk about the Wilson Stevens Clinic. The same place you’ve started going to. And I know I saw the initials W.S.C. scribbled into his day planner.”

As they crossed the threshold to enter the small boardroom, Tessa glanced at the co-workers already assembled. None seemed to be paying attention to the two of them, but she whispered, regardless.

“You’re reaching, Darce. That doesn’t really prove anything. I haven’t seen him there, and the staff aren’t about to discuss just who’s in there donating sperm, just like they’re not going to discuss who’s in there for fertility treatments.”

The two women selected leather swivel chairs near the back of the room. D’arcy leaned in to continue their conversation.

“Well, I know that. And I know you would have said something if you’d seen him there. But that doesn’t mean that the idea’s completely impossible.”

Tessa frowned. “It just doesn’t make sense, though. He’s a playboy, Darce. He likes his hot-and-cold running women, and the clubbing-all-night lifestyle. No way would he saddle himself with a baby. That would put a major crimp in his style, don’t you think?”

D’arcy snatched the paper back with a huff and tucked it into the back of her notebook. “Well, I think I’m on the right track with this. I mean we’ve exhausted all the other possibilities. Of course, the only way we’ll really know is if we tailed him sometime.”

Tessa snorted rather indelicately. “Uh huh. Now you want to play detective? You should have tried a different career, Darce. You missed your calling.”

D’arcy sniffed obnoxiously. “Just don’t forget our bet. I’m going to win, one way or another.”

“That remains to be seen.”

Looking as though she were about to retort, D’arcy’s attention suddenly turned to the doorway, and Tessa followed her friend’s gaze.

The remaining number of Lakewood employees was filing into the room, Brett among them. Tessa’s gaze locked onto his tall, broad frame, and try as she might, she couldn’t avert her eyes.

Brett sank easily into a chair on the opposite side of the table and leaned back in a seemingly careless posture. His ever-present Ray-Ban sunglasses were now perched atop his nose rather than on the top of his head, and when he turned toward Tessa and D’arcy, a sexy smirk curving the corners of his mouth, Tessa felt her cheeks flush. Certain his eyes were roaming over her body, yet unable to prove it, her nipples hardened again. Purposely, Tessa turned her attention to Kelly Winston, the very sweet but mousy manager of Accounts Payable, who was presenting her quarterly report.

After several moments, Tessa gave up all pretense of staring at Kelly and instead surreptitiously focused her attention on Brett, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

Again, Tessa wondered just what in hell was with him today. In all the time she’d worked at Lakewood, they’d barely said a dozen words to each other. And frankly, that was exactly the way Tessa wanted it. Brett was too strong a reminder of her old life, the one she was working so damned hard to shed.

Even though she’d known Richard for some time prior to joining Lakewood, she hadn’t met Brett. There’d always been some sort of excuse or another keeping her from meeting his family, and even when those moments had finally come, Brett had been off doing God-knew-what.

And it was probably for the best, Tessa mused. Brett Taylor was every woman’s dream of a walking sex god, with the reputation to match. He oozed charisma mixed with the promise of satisfaction. Always impeccably dressed in designer labels—today it was Hugo Boss, if she didn’t miss her guess—he moved with a sinewy grace that captured—and held—the attention of everyone in the room. And his gaze always left his target feeling at once naked, devoured and satisfied.

At least, that was how Tessa felt. She couldn’t vouch for anyone else.

Even Richard didn’t have the same effect on her.

As quickly as the thought came to the forefront, Tessa guiltily brushed it away. Richard had made such a difference in her life—so what if he didn’t make her as wet as the thought of Brett did?

It was so strange, she thought, that two brothers could be so diametrically opposed. Richard’s work wheeling and dealing in International Finance was big business. He was even starting to dip his toes into the political arena. He was hardworking, serious, and dedicated, while Brett was…not.

“Brett couldn’t be trusted to tie his own shoes, Tessa,” Richard had said with a derisive snort sometime in the beginning of their relationship. “If I didn’t keep my hand in the running of Lakewood+Cross, the business would have gone under ages ago.”

“But why even give him that level of responsibility if he can’t handle it?” she’d responded.

Richard had swirled the seventeen-year-old scotch around in his glass, and given her what she’d come to call his ‘politician’ smile—the one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Because, sweetheart, that’s what one does for one’s family.”

Brought back to reality by a faint beeping noise, Tessa watched as Brett typed something on his Blackberry, seemingly ignoring the meeting around him, and a flash of irritation swept over her. Richard was right, she thought dismissively. Brett would never make anything of himself—never do anything respectable that he and his family could be proud of.

Brett Taylor was going nowhere, just like she’d once been. And there was no way she was going back to that life, ever again.

* * * * *

She was watching him again. Brett could feel those stunning green eyes probing, assessing.

It was unnerving.

He punched an incorrect key on his PDA’s keypad, and he scowled. Tessa McCormack was too damned distracting, and he couldn’t bloody well figure out exactly why.

He also couldn’t explain why the woman had gotten under his skin lately. It wasn’t as if she went out of her way to get his attention. In fact, the opposite was true. She’d been with the company for about a year now, and he’d never really had much of an opportunity to get to know her. Truthfully, most days he didn’t even know if she was in the office or not, because he didn’t see her.

Hell, Richard hadn’t helped matters in that respect, either. It was only when Richard called him to tell him he’d hired a new employee that Brett had even found out his brother was dating someone new.

That rankled, even though Brett knew it shouldn’t. He’d thought he’d gotten past caring about how his older brother treated him.

Finding out that Richard had been seeing Tessa for almost six months beforehand had been a bit of a surprise. Richard was pretty obvious about his women—he usually made a serious effort to show them off.

Brett frowned slightly. It was almost as if Richard had been keeping Tessa out of the public eye, for some reason. He just hadn’t been able to figure out what that reason was yet.

Because despite her conservative suits and sleek hairdos, there was something more to Tessa McCormack. He let his gaze travel over the parts of her that he could see.

She was long and lean, with curves in all the right places. High, firm breasts that she tried to keep under wraps. Honey-blonde hair that was always up in some sort of twist or knot—making him ache to remove the pins or clips holding it up. A graceful neck, strong, yet delicate features. And although right now he couldn’t see them, he could still very easily picture those impossibly, eternally long legs.

But it was those damned eyes of hers.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Brett shifted in his chair. This was Richard’s girlfriend he was mentally undressing, and he really had to stop this train of thought before he got himself into major trouble.

The problem was those extra layers, though. Brett would stake everything on the fact that she was more than the sophisticated woman she was making herself out to be. Because women from ‘proper’, old-money families, women with Ivy League educations—the kinds of women Richard targeted—they didn’t speak the way Tessa did. With a low, husky voice that made him think of late-night, dirty talk between the sheets.

They didn’t walk the way Tessa did. Sensuously, with a sway of her hips that meant she was completely aware of how her body moved. And comfortable with every square inch of it. Confident of her sexuality—even if she was trying to cover it up.

And they definitely didn’t get under his fucking skin like Tessa had.

Despite his mild irritation, that fact intrigued him. But it had to stop. She was Richard’s. And no matter what his brother might think of him, Brett had more integrity than that.

It was like the old singer Jim Croce said—you don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit in the wind…and, Brett added, you don’t go after another man’s woman. Especially your brother’s.

Exhaling softly, he forced his attention back to Kelly at the front of the room, and made a mental note about the figure she’d just quoted.

Good. He nodded, slightly smug. Kelly was a brilliant, highly conscientious employee. He’d trusted his instincts in hiring her, and his gamble had paid off—despite Richard’s original protests.

Finally finishing his text message, he sent it off to the bank manager with a satisfied smile, and made the mistake of glancing over in Tessa’s direction again.

This time, meeting her gaze was like a sucker punch. Almost instantly, his cock was hard, and he was seized by the nearly unstoppable urge of dragging her up on the boardroom table and planting himself soul-deep between her thighs.

The image was so real, so tangible, that he could almost smell her. That hint of an earthy, dark perfume—another non-debutante-style choice—and the sweet, musky layer that was distinctly her.

Jesus, he wanted to taste that skin. Peel back those layers of clothing to see if she really did wear skimpy black lace like he imagined. He was willing to bet she was a thong girl. The thought of her pale, creamy ass bisected by a flimsy strip of fabric was nearly his undoing.

He coughed, choking slightly on the saliva flooding his mouth, and more than two dozen questioning pairs of eyes turned in his direction.

“Sorry,” he murmured, waving his hand in Kelly’s direction to indicate that she should continue.

Meeting Tessa’s gaze again, he realized it contained not only intelligence with that hint of ever-present wariness, but amusement, too.

Great, he thought wryly to himself, that was smooth. Way to impress the girl, dude.

His Blackberry vibrated discreetly in his hand, and he glanced down at the text message on the screen.

Hey, baby, want 2 come over 2nite?

Brandi. He pondered the invitation. The woman was incredibly hot, all right. And he’d had fun with her before…

A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over him, and at that moment, Brett felt the full weight of his thirty-three years. He was frankly tired of the bar scene, and fed up with these empty-headed bar bunnies. He’d been unsatisfied by the whole lifestyle for some time now—and that was more than a little bit spooky. He sighed. At first, being thrust into the playboy role years ago had been fun. But the lifestyle had definitely lost its luster. He wanted more, dammit. But what exactly did more consist of?

Opening his eyes, his attention fell on Tessa.

Oh, shit. Could this get any more complicated?