At the risk of tooting my own horn too loudly, I have to admit that sometimes I’m a rather witty writer. (At least, my old posts make me laugh. I can’t vouch for anyone else. )
Along that vein, I bring you a goodie that was originally posted February 3, 2007. Some of the answers are really amusing now, lemme tells ya!
Hat-tip to Ann.
1. Hi my name is… Slim Shady? or Felicity Shagwell? What about Pussy Galore? No? How ’bout Sybil?
2. Never in my life have I… danced the Watusi.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts is… me.
4. High School… Best left unmentioned.
5. When I’m nervous… I can’t sit still
6. The last time I cried was… what time is it now?
7. If I were to get married right now my maid of honor/best man would be… absent. ‘Cause that’s not happening.
8. My hair is… on my head, silly (oh, and okay, my crowning glory, if I may be so bold…)
9. When I was 5…. it was 1977. I think that was a good year. I dunno. I don’t really remember it.
10. Last Christmas… I gave you my heart / but the very next day, you gave it away (damn you, George!)
11. I should be… on the cover of the Rolling Stone.
12. The craziest recent event was… I haven’t been crazy lately. That I know of. Damn, we need more crazy in our lives…
13. If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be… in New York right now. Cool. That’d be worth putting up with Ross…
14. By this time next year… I’ll be another year older. And if I’m still living at home, I shall commit hara kiri.
15. My current gripe… Boys.
16. I have a hard time understanding… almost anything nowadays, but especially Boys.
17. There’s this girl I know who… one time, at Band Camp…
18. You know I like you when… a) I clam up completely or b) flirt outrageously
19. If I won an award, the first person I would thank would be… God only knows. I think I’d make my speech up on the spot.
20. Take my advice… if your gut says no, listen to it.
21. My ideal breakfast… would consist of lots of coffee, toast smothered in butter and jam (just no marmalade), a chunk of cheese, and a big bowl of fruit salad. It would be served to me in bed, and I wouldn’t have had to make ANY of it.
22. If you visited the place I was born… You’d be in my neighborhood right now.
23. I plan to visit someone… wearing nothing but a trenchcoat and stilettos. Someday.
24. If you spend the night at my house… be prepared to share the bed with a rolling and kicking Offspring. Oh, but I’ll make great coffee and fantastic crepes to make up for it.
25. I’d stop my wedding if… what wedding??
26. The world could do without… Arrogance, violence and greed.
27. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than… Ew. There’s nothing I’d not do in that instance.
28. Most recent thing I’ve bought myself… a SWEET MP3 player. Yeah!
29. Most recent thing someone else bought for me… erm…nothing since Christmas, that I can think of.
30. My favorite blonde is… me. (Oh, all right. The Offspring.)
31. My favorite redhead is… I don’t think I know any redheads. Hm.
32. My middle name is… Sweet Thang. (Seriously. You think I’m joking?)
33. This morning I… really, really, really wanted to sleep some more.
34. Living things I would like to see flying besides birds are… pigs. Now wouldn’t that make some people eat their words?
35. Once, at a bar… I danced on the bar top. While sober.
36. Last night… Boy, do I wish I had something juicy to put here… *sigh*
37. There’s this guy I know who… I’d really like for Christmas. Or my birthday. I’m not picky.
38: I don’t know… the square root of 43672668343276. (I made the number up, people. Please don’t give me a hard time in the Comments…)
39. A better name for me would be… Gwyneth Paltrow. Or Cameron Diaz. Or Renee Zellweiger.
40. When I go back to school… I’m going to get out of homework and exams by sleeping with the prof. (Sorry, Ann — I just had to steal this one because it’s the perfect answer. )
41. My birthday is… usually a bit of a letdown.
42. What I really want for Valentine’s Day is… see #37.
43. I’m wearing… out my welcome.