irrelevant (and sometimes questionable) ramblings

This (late) Thursday Thirteen consists of the most recent search terms/phrases that people have used that have brought them to my blog.

1. movie quote, I’ll never tell when the sun is shining…

Um, okay. Not sure about this one.

2. give yourself instant frostbite

Another one I don’t get. Or is this some kind of “cold-hearted bitch” reference?

3. pish tosh

Heh. I guess I do say that occasionally…

4. when you dance it’s a little bit scary and a lot sexy

I haven’t been able to figure out what the “scary” part is, and I need to know…

5. Kris Starr death

Frankly, this spooks me. I think I might need to hire security. Any takers?

6. If you think I’m sexy, come on baby let me know

I get this one a lot. And not just because I quoted Rod Stewart once upon a time…

7. peed in the pool

Nope. Never.

8. orli keira

*shrug* I’d much rather talk about Orli than Keira, but hey…

9. What does it mean when a guy kisses your forehead

It means he’s got bad aim.

10. yes sometimes lying is right dusky

WTF?

11. Kneel at my feet, slave

You heard me.

12. Not actually a search term, but I get a lot of people who find me via the Monty Python image of giant foot that I linked to some time ago

This is pretty much self-explanatory.

13. Naked squash

I get this a LOT. I don’t know if people want to play it, or watch it. Either way, that’s a little scary, don’t you think?

Thanks to Doug, I’ve been tagged. (Sarcasm? You decide… )

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. The state of the environment
2. Diseases or conditions for which there are no cures
3. Anything that might hurt the Offspring

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. My brother
2. Mel Brooks
3. Dean Koontz (yes, believe it or not)

Three Things I Love:
1. The Offspring’s belly laugh
2. Driving (anywhere)
3. Good times with friends

Three Things I Hate:
1. Violence
2. Cold, damp towels
3. Cold feet (my own, usually)

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. Politics
2. Tom Cruise
3. Why hot dogs come in packs of 12, yet buns come in bags of 8…

Three Things On My Desk:
1. Paper, paper, and more paper
2. Meds for the current affliction — antibiotics and Tylenol 3s
3. Blog contest prizes (I know, I know.)

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. Filling out this meme (I mean, really… sheesh!)
2. Procrastinating on making supper
3. Listening to the radio

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Hit the New York Times’ Bestseller list
2. See the Offspring grown and settled
3. Check off everyone on my “people I’d like to kiss” list.

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Write
2. Sing
3. Sleep (do that one really well. Don’t get enough practice, though…)

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. Draw
2. A handstand
3. The front crawl (properly)

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. Your head
2. Your heart
3. Your stomach

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. Anyone who says “This is the only answer.”
2. Horror stories from anyone who’s gone through what you’re about to (ie. pregnancy, surgery, marriage, etc…)
3. Me, on occasion

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. Watercolour painting
2. Electric bass
3. Piano

Three Favorite Foods:
1. Pizza
2. Bubble Tea
3. Butter Tarts

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. The Flintstones
2. Family Feud (with my Mummu)
3. The Beachcombers

Three Things I Regret:
1. Not listening to my gut
2. Not stepping out of my comfort zone
3. Keeping my mouth shut when I shouldn’t have

Three People I Tag:

Hm. I have to think about this. Well, anyone can do this meme — if you don’t have a Blog, you can post your answers in the comments.

What’s the old saying? In spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love… ? Somethin’ like that?

Oh, well. Blame the meds — that’s what I’m doing. At least, thankfully, I am no longer in agonizing pain.

Trust me when I say this is a good thing.

Anyway. Back to the topic at hand. Although, it’s not precisely love we’re talking about here…

Springtime in Northern Canuckland is a wonderous thing to see. Folks shedding layers of clothing in a way not unlike animals and excess fur, happy to once again feel the warm sun and gentle breeze. I know I’m thrilled — and I will be even more so when I feel completely healed and human again.

Case in point: after leaving the movie theatre Saturday evening, I was driving Rella home. Amidst our detailed, critical analysis of Pirates (read: which shot of Orli was hotter) we both happened to turn our attention to the guy riding the donorcyc– I mean, motorcycle next to us, and the fact that with his arms braced on the handlebars, his biceps and triceps were flexed rather nicely.

Without missing a beat, in unison (because we occasionally share a braincell), we both said, “Nice arms.”

This was followed by the whoa broad-shouldered guy with the great pectorals wearing the snug, Under Armour-type top, and the buff, bare-chested guy (with the cool tat) walking with a dog and a little girl.

My closing comment for the evening: I love spring.

And I can’t wait for summer. (Lecherous? Me? Not at all… What makes you say that?? Hehehe.)

I received an email from a cousin right after the Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End premieres happened. She’d gone to see it right away. Her email to me said, in part (sorry for quoting you, babes):

“…let me be very serious here for a minute. *You *must* go and see this movie* There is this one scene, and my god - you thought Orli was hot before….wow. Stooper sexy.”

I am here to tell you one and all, Rella and I went to see the show this afternoon — and she was right on the money.

Not to give anything away, because to add more detail would give a BIG plot point away, but when you go see this film, watch for a part near the end, when Orli’s dressed in form-fitting black and maroon, with a dark headscarf. And then a scene with Orli and Keira right near the end.

Holy Mary, Mother of God. Instant temperature spike, ladies and germs. Wow. Both Rell and I were mostly speechless. I think it was almost worth the admission price for that alone.

Otherwise, though, the movie was very enjoyable. Be forewarned, though — it is long. To the tune of 168 minutes. And I must admit to a bit of numb-bum by the end. My rebuttal to the critics I’ve heard so far:

– yes, it is long. But I didn’t think the pacing was bad.

– there is a lot of double-, triple- and quadruple-crossing going on. And yes, it can be confusing. But it’s all about paying attention. And watching the movie again a few times (at least) to catch everything.

– and no, Hollywood is not going to be knocking on Keith Richards’ door anytime soon, but for the small part he played, he was entertaining.

I am the first to admit that I am very forgiving when it comes to movies. The most I expect for is to be entertained, and I am not highly critical of the films that I see. It’s meant to be escapist entertainment. That’s all I ask for, and that’s almost always what I get.

And frankly, despite what any critic says, the movie is still going to rake in mucho dineiro over this opening weekend and the weeks to come. Bruckheimer and Verbinski are going to laugh all the way to the bank. So just go and enjoy it. You know you want to.

Because everything from the shoulders up hurts like a sumbitch, you’re all fortunate enough to get a meme to play with.

Give it a shot! Rules are below the cut. Put your answer in comments (mine is the title of the post, obviously…)

(more…)

You know things are bad when your trainer emails you a note that says, “You alive?”

The simple answer, ladies and gentlecars, is “Just barely.”

Remember that cold from hell that I complained about recently? Well, it decided to have fun with me and turned into a full-blown sinus infection. *sigh*

I finally went to the walk-in clinic this morning, and while I try to avoid the use of antibiotics as much as humanly possible, today I was thanking God for them. Because I got home, took a dose, and crawled into bed. When I woke up, the pain in my head had diminished by about 75%.

Other than still feeling like a dishrag, I *almost* feel normal again. I’m going to see how I feel in the morning, otherwise I may not make it to the run clinic tomorrow night. And if I miss the second one, I might just have to drop out of it, this time around. I’m okay with missing one session, but when the course is only 7 weeks long, missing more than that is detrimental.

I tell you, I turned 35 and have begun falling apart. Time to trade me in, I think…

Well, there you have it, folks. I just emailed a book off tonight.

I’m back in the manuscript submission game. Now it’s hurry-up-and-wait time.

In the meanwhile, though, I think I’m gonna be sick.

Anybody got any valium?

I mean no offense to those who truly live this way on a day-to-day basis, but I could never understand people who said, “Oh, I forgot to eat breakfast.”

This makes no sense to me. How could one forget to eat? My tummy is a whip-wielding dictator who loudly informs me in no uncertain terms that I must ingest food. Now.

So imagine my surprise this morning when I: did a load of laundry and hung it outside to dry, read the paper, photocopied some things, responded to emails, surfed the ‘net, did some filing and sorting of paperwork, showered and dressed, and only then started to wonder just why my tummy was growling at me.

I had — literally — forgotten to have breakfast. And the two cups of coffee I had certainly didn’t count.

Consider me knackered.

On top of that, I forgot to have lunch yesterday, too. I was highly engrossed in what I was doing, and suddenly, when two o’clock rolled around, I realized I was somewhat peckish.

I did want to drop a few more pounds, but I am thoroughly aware that this is a tad extreme of a way to do it.

Next time: Women and the horrors of hair removal. I’d go au naturel, but I prefer sleek, smooth skin far, far too much…

The current WiP is DONE.

I’m over my target word count, I’m not happy with my last line, and my brain feels like mush. But I am otherwise DONE.

I’m saving the file, putting it away for the night, and will re-read from start to finish likely tomorrow night. And then it will be sent off on a wing and a prayer.

I will keep you posted on what transpires.

Now I will take the rest of the weekend to get caught up on other crappe, and tackle revising the Gym book (remember that one?) starting on Tuesday.

For all you Canucks out there, have a fantastic long weekend (hope your weather is better than ours!!), and for the rest of you, have a great regular weekend!

I will attempt to post over the next three days, but if I don’t, see you next week!

At some point later on today, I hope to be able to post some good news.

But for now, I’m headed into the writing cave. The light is there at the end of the tunnel, and it’s growing brighter by the second. (At least, I hope so. As long as it’s not a figment of my imagination…)

By the time today is over, I should be back on track with a number of things — which means I’ll be able to do all those piddly little things like update the website and hold the damned contest (finally!).

I may have to run to the drugstore at some point today, though, because this everloving cold has now moved into my sinuses, and it hurts. I’m sad because I also missed my first run clinic last night. So I’d better damn well be okay by next Thursday, because I’m going regardless.

All right. I’ve babbled on long enough. I’m going to put on my Lapdance Mix (heh) and see if I can get these people engaging in hawt monkey secks.

Standing order on the Mounties. But I didn’t have to tell you that, now did I?