Archive for July, 2006

What Happens in Atlanta…

Sunday, July 30th, 2006

stays in Atlanta.

I am en route home from Hotlanta. The lone brain cell was taxed beyond ability, but I think it survived. Once I am settled and feeling back to “normal” — whatever THAT is — I will post all the pictures and gossip fit to print.

Missed you all — and will be glad to get back into the swing of things ASAP. It’s nice to go away, but I think it’s even nicer to go back home. :)

I missed my bed.

Oh, and any and all rumors you may have heard about Kris that are floating around on other blogs — lies. All lies, I tell you! Stay tuned HERE for the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me Chardonnay. ;)

Ready As I’ll Ever Be

Monday, July 24th, 2006

All right.

I’m packed. I *think* I’ve got everything I need for the week. Everything that needed to be washed was washed and line-dried today. I actually didn’t make a list this time around, which worries me just a little bit, but instead of assigning an outfit or two to each day, I just packed a whole LOT of clothing with an eye toward which pieces go together.

I also packed twice as many pairs of shoes (at least) as last time. :D

I don’t know if I’ll have the time or opportunity to log in and post over the coming week, but I promise lots of details, stories and photos when I get back.

So be good (especially you, Rella!) and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. ;)

See some of you very soon, and see the rest of you when I get home!


Universal Lesson # 726

Saturday, July 22nd, 2006

Straight men do not willingly dance to Abba.

Unless it’s part of some kind of pickup move as it was last night.

Wow, the evening turned out to be just as frivolous as the previous time to this bar. Neither Rella nor I won the minivan (obviously), but we had a great deal of fun nonetheless. Much entertainment was to be had with:

a) talking to the funny, cute chatty guy in glasses at the bar.

b) watching the brooding alpha-male Constantine/Jim Morrison-lookalike drink his Corona. (Yowza…)

c) the *very* drunk women who danced on the bar wearing skirts and gave patrons more of a show than they probably expected when they first walked into the bar, and

d) the very, very muscular, tall, goodlooking pair of guys who purposely danced to Abba as a means of making a move. That’s all I’m gonna say, except that the dirty dancing was exquisite, and his chest was a lean wall of muscle. (Because that sounds confusing and somewhat kinky, I’ll clarify to say I danced with ONE of the guys — not both. But that could have been fun, too…) ;)

Today, a pretty damned tired Rella and I shopped. I bought a couple of new tops to round out my conference wardrobe, a camera case so I can safely bring my digital camera, and a giftie for somebody special.

In a stroke of fun, Rella insisted I try on the sexiest slinky black evening gown that I’ve ever seen. It was backless, with a pair of straps that criscrossed the shoulders, with a deep vee of cleavage. It skimmed the hips and then fanned out in the hem to a bit of a flare. And on me, it was touching the floor, so heels would be necessary. It hugged every curve, and it actually looked freakin’ fantastic. With my stiletto do-me shoes, it would be a knockout. Sadly, I didn’t have the cash to pick it up, but I know that store — they regularly have those kinds of gowns available, so I can find it or something just like it again.

But damn, it was a rush. :D

Now I’m off to make potato salad. Oh, the glamour of it all…!

Tattoo You!

Friday, July 21st, 2006

Kris is going to have fun with temporary tattoos for the conference. (Hey, I like ‘em, ’cause there’s no permanent commitment, they can look very authentic–I’ve fooled people with them before–and I can change ‘em, and their location, as often as I like. What’s not to enjoy?)

My question is, though — where should I put it this time? :D I’m not even sure which one I’ll choose from my package yet, but it won’t be bigger than the diameter of…say…a baseball, maybe?

So you guys can vote as to where I’ll put it, and I’ll even get a picture taken and post it for you. How’s that for fun?

*crickets chirping*

Oh, c’mon, you guys — it’ll be fun! I promise! So here are your options — vote in comments!

a) ankle

b) chest — upper boob

c) back — shoulder blade

d) back — between shoulder blades

e) back — above the butt — aka the “tramp stamp” :D

f) other — specify in comments. And I kinda *do* want people to see it a little, so it can’t be where the sun don’t shine, gang. ;)

Thanks for playing!


In other news, I’m once again fabulously blonde, thanks to my awesome stylist — she is a Goddess!

And just in time for the ‘win the van’ thing tonight! Some of you may recall the adventure atop the bar at the end of June…well, tonight’s the night to try the key to see if the van will start. I’ll let you know what happens…!

That’s about all I’ve got to say for now — must get packing started for the trip! Catch you on the flip side, gang!

Book #1 Available NOW!

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

Apologies, Summer — I meant to put a post up about your book and then my day went to hell and back. :D

So anyway, without further ado, here’s the news!

Summer Devon’s book — Invisible Touch — book #1 in the SHRINK WRAP series, is available now from Ellora’s Cave! (Click on the link to see the cover, read an excerpt, and BUY THE BOOK!)

I’m so sorry — I would put her coolio cover up, but I really don’t like the way it works using Flickr. Once my website is up and I’ve got space to put pictures, I’ll edit this post and add the cover image.

Congrats, Summer! And when you’ve read the book, go tell Summer’s alter ego, Kate Rothwell, what you thought! :)

I Hate the Universe

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

Today’s Horoscope:

You might be distracted by a sense that something big is coming today — and you might be right. There’s a big event on its way, and it might present you with a huge opportunity for growth or a new romance (whichever you’re more in need of right now). Talk to others about what you hope will happen. Who knows? They might be able to make it clearer for you. At the very least, saying what you want out loud will give the universe a clue about how to handle things. (emphasis mine)

*bangs head into keyboard*

I’ve asked this before, but what in God’s name am I supposed to do here? Rent a billboard? Skywrite? I just don’t get it, gang. It *is* like waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.

I mean, really. *siiiiiiigh*

In other news, I’m diving into revisions this afternoon. Wish me luck. And if you don’t hear from me by tomorrow, call in the Mounties. I’m sure at that point I’ll need rescuing. :D

By Personal Request

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

Mr. Personal Trainer asked me today why I hadn’t Blogged about our kinky gym experiences.*

(Got your attention, didn’t it?)

I told him that I just hadn’t made a point of it, but I suppose now is as good a time as any.

You know those weightlifting belts that serious bodybuilders use? The heavy things that wrap around your waist and velcro closed? Smaller-proportioned ones exist, too. (For the life of me, I haven’t the foggiest clue what their official name is. Sue me.) The smaller ones have metal D-rings attached (whereby you shackle yourself to a machine to pull weights in whatever direction you feel might be appropriate).

So the first time we’re using these, Mr. P.T. is attaching one to my ankle, in preparation for such an exercise.

As it is sometimes wont to do of its own accord, my mouth opens, and before I know it, I say, “This is almost kinda kinky.” (Man, my mouth is gonna get me into major trouble one of these days…)
A pause.

Mr. P.T. takes a moment to absorb just what the hell I’ve said, stands and says, with a grin on his face, “Hey now–this is a family establishment.”

Me, the picture of innocence: “Well, it is, though, isn’t it?”

Mr. P.T.: “Why do you think we have to lock these things away in a drawer? People used to steal them regularly.”

And now I start almost guffawing with laughter — and believe me, it’s nigh impossible to do either adduction or abduction exercises while laughing that hard.

I’m just glad he’s open-minded and has a sense of humor. Of course, he *is* the one who suggested the idea of setting a book in a gym. With his name changed, of course. :D

Who knew the gym could be such a valuable source of knowledge and information?


*Dude, YOU’RE the one who asked me about the Blog entry, so you had it coming. ;)

Yes, I’m Exhausted. Why Do You Ask?

Tuesday, July 18th, 2006

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Carib who?

No, I’m not a caribou — I’m a person, silly!* 


*Ah, the things you learn watching public television on weekday mornings….

Another Heavenly Game of Ten Pin

Sunday, July 16th, 2006

Holy crap did we have a thunderstorm last night. Woke me right up out of a sound, deep sleep. Then I had to run around the house and close all the windows that were open. It was pretty wild, that’s for sure.

Seeing as how the lone brain cell is having a rough time of it today, let’s check out recent search engine terms, or how folks found my Blog. (See if you can spot the theme again…)
erotic pirate stories - Sure. Especially about ol’ Johnny… :D

erotic fiction water  - This is the second mention of water in relation to ‘erotic’. I’m not sure about this, really…

Hugh Jackman erotica -  Never written any, but there’s always a first time.

And my favourite…:

questionable party wear -  What?!? What’s wrong with my party clothes?? And who says they’re questionable….? I demand to speak to management…

All right. The Offspring is being entirely too quiet. I’d better go find out what she’s up to. I wonder if I can convince her to take a nap…

*snort* Yeah, right.

Exsqueeze me? Baking Powder?

Saturday, July 15th, 2006

It just occurred to me that I didn’t post anything new today.

Bad Kris. Bad.

I’m afraid the lone braincell has gone fishin’, or something. I could complain about the heat, but Jen would just make fun of me. (Oh, I AM going horseback riding with you guys, Jen — I think I forgot to email you back on that… I did tell Precious, though. ;) )

No surprise here, but I’m *wiped* — offspring was awake at about 6:20 this morning — so I am off to the comfort of my big ole bed.

Oh, before I go, though — in exciting news, our local grocery has started carrying Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper! Yeah! Mmm….

And if that weren’t enough, at the gym yesterday, one of our local television personalities did the whole ‘lingering eye contact’ thing, which was fun. He’s cute, in a jock-y way. ;)

On that note, I really am to bed. Honest. Cross my heart and hope to croak.