Archive for the 'Between the Sheets' Category

To Sleep, Perchance To…

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010


The last two nights have caused me to wake up in the morning thinking, WTF? Vivid, disturbing nocturnal adventures, whose feelings of dread and confusion carry over into the waking hours.

Bleah. I hate bad dreams. I realize the Junior Peanut has something to do with it all — the excess hormones currently rampaging this poor bod — but it’s not her fault. I just wish they could be happier dreams. Or funnier. Or sexier. Or somethin’.

Faceless strangers pouring gasoline into my car and lighting it on fire just doesn’t make for an uplifting morning, y’know?

Nocturnal Adventures

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

I hadn’t really kept track, but for some time there I wasn’t remembering any of my dreams. Now it seems I’m back in a dream-phase where every morning I wake up thinking, “What the fuck?” Especially when people like Robert Pattinson of Twilight fame appear.

Last night’s excitement wasn’t really that mindblowing — not in a “boy, that was weird” sense, anyway. In the dream, the Pater had inherited an old house, left to him by an old Finlander (yes, it was. Don’t ask me how I know this.). The Pater didn’t want to keep it, so he gave it to B.E. and myself. So the first thing we did was go and tour it.

In the dream, the house was just down the street from the Mater’s and Pater’s place, although the street was completely different from reality, and no house like this exists where M&P live.

The building was massive. Three storeys, each still fully furnished, as though the owner had simply stepped out and not returned. There was a darkness to it, as in dark walls and not much light, and for a moment in the dream I worried that something creepy was going to happen. I suppose my subconscious convinced itself otherwise, as the tone of the dream lightened, and all we did was explore the various rooms. I’m not kidding when I say the place was massive. The main floor alone held five bedrooms, plus an office, living room, dining room, and kitchen. I don’t remember seeing a bathroom, but I’m sure it was there.

It was very much like a rabbit warren — short staircases going up and down, twisty hallways, long passageways. And the decor was a throwback to the ’70s — fluffy shag carpeting, funky wallpapers, retro furniture. It was crazy. I also remember the smell — it wasn’t bad, just stuffy and stale, as though the windows hadn’t been opened in a long time. The kind of smell you notice when going to older people’s houses. Dry and a little dusty.

Finally, we had gone to look in the back yard, and while at first it was normal, the next time we looked at it, it had turned into a small, paved municipal-type parking lot. I remember being excited about this and telling B.E. that we could rent out parking spaces and make money! Wasn’t that great!


That’s about where it ended. I wish I could go back and explore that house some more, but I know that’s not likely to happen. It would be cool, though.

At Least I Wasn’t Naked In English Class

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

I dreamed last night that I was appearing in a stage production. It was a musical version of the oh, so tween-tastic current phenom Twilight.

I remember being hooked up to a harness, so that I could “fly” out over the stage.

Of course, I also remember not knowing a single one of my lines, or any of the songs, or generally what I was supposed to do.

This sort of thing is the type of anxiety dream I always have. I suppose it’s all right, though, because I’m the only one who notices that something’s wrong. Everyone else always acts as though I’m behaving completely normally.

At least that’s a relief. I don’t think I could stand it if everyone was laughing at me. :P

To Sleep, Perchance To… Zzzzz…

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

I have discovered the penultimate method of getting a solid night’s sleep:

Run yourself entirely ragged–both physically and emotionally–for several days straight (weeks are even better) so that you can no longer even keep your eyes open and are forced to prop your lids up with toothpicks, a la Fred Flintstone. Force yourself to remain awake, sitting at your computer doing things that seem highly important at the time (but could very easily be postponed to later). Then, terribly late in the evening, collapse headlong into your bed.

Near-instant sleep is practically guaranteed–as long as you can keep thoughts of wedding plans and house-shopping from entering your brain.



And good luck trying to wake up early the next day. Snooze-button use is guaranteed.

I wonder if I can sneak in a nap today…

This Wedding Is Exhausting

Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

I can’t seem to get to bed before 11PM anymore. (Actually, it’s usually closer to midnight…)

The internet beckons; curse Google for allowing me to search for dress ideas and flowers and centerpieces…

If I don’t get some sleep one of these nights, I’m going to do a nose-dive into my lunch at work. It’s inevitable.

However, in all of this searching, I have rediscovered my love for eBay. Especially since I’m finding several inexpensive options for all three young ladies who are going to be featured prominently in the upcoming spectacle. :)

I figure that makes up for my inability to focus. Doesn’t it…? Huh…? Wha–…?

All I Have To Do Is…

Monday, October 6th, 2008


I went through a spell where I wasn’t remembering my dreams at all. Perhaps it was because I was so thoroughly exhausted, I don’t know.

Regardless, the dream factory seems to have started up again. I’ve been having some rather interesting dreams lately, involving my usual themes. One of them involves me searching for something. I don’t always know what that something is, but that’s not the point. The point is I seem to always be in a rabid state of panic to find it.

One dream interpretation site I visited tonight says that searching for something

…signifies the need to find something that is missing or needed in your life. You may be searching for a solution to a problem.

This would make sense from a story angle. I may not consciously be plotting my story, but my subconscious may very well be taking a crack at it. Otherwise, I can’t think of too many things that are missing from my life at the moment. I have a lot of very good things right now.

Interestingly enough, though, in one of the last dreams, it was the Offspring I was searching for. I couldn’t find her, and while I experienced a low-level dread, I wasn’t entirely hysterical. And I did find her before I woke up. But I firmly believe that my subconscious wouldn’t let me lose my own kid.

Like I need that kind of trauma in my life. Sheesh. :D

That same dream also involved looking out of the window and seeing numerous tornadoes coming towards the building. The same website declares that:

To see several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship.

I don’t think there’s anything that volatile in my life at the moment. However, there is a very slight possibility for volatility. I think that may be what the tornadoes signify — that my subconscious is telling me there’s a storm a-comin’, and it’d be time to get my hiney into the root cellar (if we had one).

I keep intending to start a dream journal, but I just never get around to actually doing it. One problem that thwarts my plan is a seven-year-old who wants mommy to get UP the minute she’s awake. It doesn’t let me lie in bed and jot notes, that’s for sure.

Maybe one of these days I’ll have a chance to give it a shot. They can definitely be a good source of material — I’ve gotten story ideas from a few past dreams before.

What about you? Do you pay attention to your dreams? Go so far as to journal them? Or do you just dismiss them as unimportant?

Taking One For The Team, But Better

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

You know those oft-touted They, who seemingly have opinions and theories on everything from superstitions to politics to health care, and everything in between?

Yeah. Them.

Well, one of the things They say is that if your sweetie-pie is up for a little somethin’ and you’re not exactly in that sort of frame of mind, that you should just make an effort for a few minutes, and more than likely you’ll warm up to the idea and have a little fun after all, even when it wasn’t expected.

Whaddaya know?!?

Those They are pretty damned smart. ;)

Willpower? What Willpower?

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Last night I succumbed to temptation.

It was hot. All-encompassing. Wicked. Entirely fantastic.

And eventually I slept like a baby.


Kris’ No-Fail Sleep Guide

Friday, January 18th, 2008

Having trouble dozing off? Try Kris’ technique:

  1. Read a story to your Offspring.
  2. Close book, turn off light.
  3. Put head on pillow and close eyes.
  4. Instantaneously fall asleep.

Miraculous! You won’t believe the results!

Warning: Side effects may include:

  • grogginess (when you wake up an hour later)
  • gluey contact lenses stuck to your eyeballs
  • a general sense of discombobulation
  • extreme exhaustion
  • subsequent wakefulness from approximately 10pm to midnight 

Sheesh. If I could bottle this, I’d make a million. :P


Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

I tried out the new heated mattress pad last night.

I turned it on approximately 10 minutes before getting into bed. At that point, it was a gentle warmth — definitely nice. But I wondered if it would get better. So I left it on for a little while longer.

Oh. Mah. Gawd. It was SO awesome. It’ll be unbelievable when it’s -30C outside…

‘Scuse me. I need a moment alone. :D