I wasn’t frustrated or angry earlier.
It came out of the blue. And now my insides are churning and I want to lash out at somebody. But I don’t have a target. No, wait, maybe I do. It’s the goddamn, fucking universe I’m really fucking pissed at.
Yeah, I’m having the good ol’ “why do good people suffer” combined with “why can’t the universe just CO-OPERATE and let people be happy” rant. Yes, I know. You’re going to give me that bullshit about people having to suffer and make sacrifices and be in situations where they’re not really happy because that’s just the way life is. And because we have to put on our big-girl panties sometimes and just SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS. Because we can’t always get what we want. (Thanks for that, Mick, ol’ boy.) Because our hearts and our heads just can’t fucking communicate sometimes. And yeah, it HURTS. It’s a metric shit-ton of hurt. Right now, I HATE being a mature, responsible, considerate grown up. It sucks fermented turquoise donkey balls.
Well, you know what? I’m choosing this particular moment to throw a temper tantrum. I want problems solved. I want easy, painless solutions. I want rainbows and unicorns and sparkly, fluffy, pink-and-purple fucking clouds from which iridescent, crystalline raindrops fall and coat everyone with happy fucking feel-good juice.
IS THAT SO FUCKING WRONG?? DO YOU HEAR ME, STUPID, GODDAMN, SADISTIC, LOUSY UNIVERSE???
I’d kick something if I didn’t want to hurt my foot doing it.
And yes, I know. I get it. I’m not about to do anything stupid about anything, but I just needed to scream about it for a minute. Life will go on. The sun will come up tomorrow.
And I will shed a tear, and make yet another fruitless wish, and put a fucking smile on my face. Because that’s what has to be done.