Too Much

November 17th, 2015

There is too, too much anger happening in the world right now.

So much.

I am currently feeling very strongly about wanting to stop this damn planet and get the hell off of it. Social media is rife with all things BAD. And I just can’t deal at the moment.

You know, I can only wonder what would happen if, instead of spewing anger and hatred at every turn, those fearful, hateful individuals used that energy for good, peaceful things, instead. Wouldn’t the world be a wonderful place, if that were to happen?

I am torn between wanting to create, and wanting to just go curl up into a ball in my bed and hide under the blankets for the rest of, well, forever.

So bloody, freakin’ tired. God. Damn. It.

I Am Alive

November 12th, 2015

Despite rumours to the contrary.

Wow. Have I really not blogged since, like, September?

Man, I suck.

I have to admit, Gentle Readers, that ol’ Kris’ creative life has been frozen in a soul-sucking vortex that is not allowing for any new and wonderful words to flow from her fingertips. :(

Not only has my real life been ridiculously busy with work, there have been numerous health issues — of both the physical and mental — affecting clan Starr. To tell you the truth, folks, there are days when it’s all I can do to just hold on with my very fingertips.

It’s frustrating as fuck to see your offspring suffering and not be able to do a damn thing about it. I think I’ve cried more tears in the last few weeks than I have in the last few years put together.

So. I want to get back on that yarn-spinning bicycle, but pain, frustration, anger, and exhaustion hold me back. And, to put it coldly and bluntly, more royalty cheques would be awfully nice, too. But you don’t get paid if you don’t write anything. Damn that conundrum.

I sincerely and truly hope that one of these days I will have the energy and enthusiasm for putting something down on-screen. As hard and as stressful as writing can be, I miss the joy of creating, of telling tales, and playing God a little bit. I promise you I’ll get something out there sooner, rather than later.

Maybe simply for my own sanity’s sake.

Life Lesson #503

September 6th, 2015

Don’t let your brain take charge of you.

No, seriously. If your brain is anything like mine, it will have the tendency to obsess, dwell on, focus on, and fixate on the most ridiculous and unhelpful things *ever*, to the detriment of everything else important in life.

Obsessing will not keep your house clean.

Dwelling will not let you memorize your lines for your upcoming play.

Focusing will not let you enjoy times with your family that would otherwise be pleasant.

Fixating will not let you move ahead in life. How can you, when you’re stuck on a hamster wheel?

I fucking hate my brain sometimes. Maybe tomorrow I just need to shut off the Internet and force myself to do other things. Accompanied by loud music. And calorie-burning activities.

Stupid Brain

July 22nd, 2015

I hate it when you’re having a good day, and then you happen to drive by a place that is meaningful in some way, shape, or form, and your day is flipped, turned upside-down (thank you, Will Smith). It’s too much to say that the day is “ruined”, because it isn’t, but you are left with a flood of memories both beautiful and bittersweet, and melancholy thoughts that linger for many kilometers afterward…

Stats? Whaddaya Mean, Stats?

July 21st, 2015

So every year, Mr. Starr and I usually get to a couple of Blue Jays baseball games at the Rogers Center in Toronto. In fact, we were just at one game a few days ago. And I started thinking that I should get a Jays T-shirt to wear just to show my support. Yanno? I’m not really into baseball, but the Mister is, and I like seeing a couple of games because I enjoy the atmosphere and the crowd. Okay, I can’t lie — also the overpriced booze.

Anyway. I was thinking that I should get myself a T-shirt, but then I ran into the problem of not knowing whose name and number should be on the back of the shirt. I finally decided on a very simple criterion: I will figure out who the hottest, sexiest player is and wear his name and number on my bod. Heh. (Not shallow at all, right??)

I did some Googling of images last night, but I was having a hard time finding player profiles. I’d like to see a group picture of all the current team members, so I could pick from there, but I wasn’t having much luck. So I shall have to continue my search and see who I can come up with. We probably won’t get to another game this summer, so I have time. :)

Yes, It Means What You Think It Means

June 26th, 2015

The definition of summer fun:

Enjoying a delicious bowl of sweet, fresh cherries.

And then practicing tying the stems into knots with one’s tongue.


One Foot In Front Of The Other

June 25th, 2015

Some days, it’s all you can do.

I’m stuck in that weird state of flux where I feel like I have a million different things to say, but at the same time, haven’t the foggiest what to write.

It doesn’t help when you read beautifully written blog posts by writers who paint breathtaking pictures with their words. Indeed, I have a big crush on one wonderful gentleman’s brain. Well, okay… truth be told, it might be a crush in general. But it’s all good parts deliciously assembled into a whole that I very much appreciate.

I wish we could tell people outright how wonderful we think they are — with all levels of affection, regardless of relationship status — but there are all those social mores and levels of what is deemed appropriate… yadda, yadda, yadda. So we crush and we appreciate from afar. I still think it might increases levels of happiness everywhere, sharing this information. I don’t know. Maybe it wouldn’t.

Where are you in your world?

I’m on a hamster wheel that occasionally diverges.

So many little tidbits of story ideas that I don’t know what to do with them. I suppose you gather them into a multicoloured bouquet and enjoy the hues and details…

Have to go be a mom again for a while. It can be a tiring thing, sometimes. But I wouldn’t give it up for all the riches in the world.

Dazed And Confused

May 7th, 2015

Don’t you hate it when you haven’t the foggiest idea which end is up? I haven’t a clue right now, and I wish I could get a sign.

See, this is what happens when you’re overtired and overworked and under-relaxed. :P

I have free time coming near the end of May and into the first week of June. You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to it…

Disappearing Act

March 13th, 2015

Hey there, Gentle Readers –

Real-world life has gone WTF crazy. I’m so stupidly busy right now that everything unrelated to current real-life work and commitments has gone (temporarily) out the freakin’ window. Sadly, this includes the RBC challenge. I will start up again on it when life calms down — approximately by June, at this point.

Other than that, I can’t figure out why I force myself to stay up at my computer when I’m clearly exhausted, and I’ve reached the point where I’m not doing anything remotely productive. Honestly, I should be in bed right now. I’m eleven kinds of stupid for sitting here.

So I’m gone, y’all. Later.

To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

February 20th, 2015

I have so many things I should do, but my head is also full of all sorts of troublesome things that are distracting me from my work.

And on top of that, I’m tired. With a capital T.

To me, all of this works in combination to send me the message that I should just go to bed. So that is where I am going.

Tomorrow can be brighter, right?